Please help i am absolutely gutted!!?

Ive been with my boyfriend 8 months,we live together and are in love,or i thought we were.He bought me a diamond ring for my birthday but said its not an engagement ring. when we first met about a week intothe relationship i found some desturbing messages on his facebook from him flirting with other girls. We had a huge fight and he said it was harmful banter. It was all forgotten about. Today he went on a trip with the lads,i know i am wrong but managed to hack his email. he had an inbox message from the same girl replying "yes". the next one said " well that explains it then .it was surreal" xxx and the next one " well with your reputation with the people of our town you should be famous! id pop your collar if i were you lol xxxxx

Please help i am absolutely gutted!!?
when u can't trust the man u love theres nothing left, love is built on trust. it may not be worth it to remain and keep investing in this, when he clearly is doing things behind your back, its so disrespectful, and hurtful. anything u do against your mates back is cheating. if u know these things about him u shouldn't marry him or trust him anymore unless he would come clean admit it, and show remorse and want to change.
Reply:He is cheating on you in a sense. It doesn't have to be physical contact in order to be defined as cheating. He is wrong in what he is doing and he is being unfaithful to you. You should be the main focus in his life, yet he chooses to have a seperate and hidden relationship as well. That is not a good thing and something no one should put up with. (smile)
Reply:You've been together for 8 months, and are already living together? That's the first red flag.





You're living together without being engaged? That's the second red flag.





He's giving you a ring but makes a point to tell you it's "not an engagement ring"? That's a third red flag.





You're breaking into his email to snoop on him? That's a HUGE red flag.





He says "his MySpace is private" from you? Add some warning bells to those red flags.





You're better off without him.
Reply:doesnt sound like it, but those messages are nothing to go by.





you cant have a relationship with no trust - and you certainly dont trust him. you never will, you will always be thinking about stuff, and hes done it before ......








EDIT : I totally agree with George...why is his my space private....doesnt that not sound alarm bells already? my boyfriend has often given me his passwords to logg onto his email to check stuff or change stuff on his facebook/bebo account. Id never go snooping because of the fact - I KNOW he has nothing to hide from me. Your boyfriend is hiding things from you ! are you going to stay with this guy?
Reply:Here is how it goes from here...





he walks in


you confront him with all sort of extreme statements like "gutted"


he get defensive and tells you you are imagining the whole thing and then attacks you for snooping


you become despondent


he tells you to go to h***


he leaves or hides to see if you will (1) believe his stupid excuses, (2) take some of this on yourself and (3) fogive him like the last time





Really you are in so deep you can't see how far gone this is...he says his MySpace is private --- what are you kidding me, he loves you but you can't read his MySpace? That is all you need to know that this guy is about.





Good luck.